Sally and Billy Whitebread hung their heads.

“But, Rummy is my Godfather!” whined Billy.

“Who will teach those extremists a lesson?” wondered Sally.

“I dunno.” he moped. “I can’t believe they are so convinced about their religion that they bomb us over there. What did we good Christians ever do to them?”

TELEVISION PLAYING IN BACKGROUND

A guided missile took out a mosque in Baghdad today killing 10 women and 8 children.

{footage of weeping, screaming young men holding molotov cocktails}

“I don’t know why they are so…violent,” added Sally.

“Yeah, bunch of terrorists. It’s not like we invaded their country for no reason. We are their liberators! Some gratitude.”

“Our president really has everyone’s best intentions in mind. He wants to see the Iraq economy thrive. That’s why he sends in Halliburton and KBR to help them out.”

“Yeah, I heard about that — they bring the troops food and water. It’s not even completely polluted like you’d think.”

Sally peeled the back off of her new Jesus fish emblem and walked to the door. Billy follwed her outside. She breathed a sigh of relief as she placed the fish underneath her american flag sticker.

“At least the gays can’t get married,” she said.

“Yeah, Dubya is just looking out for their souls. It’s not like big businesses don’t want to pay for their health benefits.”

“Anyways,” said Sally. “I don’t even know anybody serving in Iraq — they are all from the other side of town.”

“I would totally go, but I’ve got that scholarship to Princeton that Dad worked out for me.”

Sally smiled as she opened the driver side door of the SUV. Billy climbed into the passenger side.

“Have you seen the new Walmart commercial?” asked Billy.

“Yeah, I told you they really care about community and family. Everybody is always smiling in those commercials. AND I LOVE THE MUSIC.”

“And the music you can buy there doesn’t even have filthy language. You know, the kind Pastor Haggard told us is bad.”