by Max Mauney

Gen Eric v.2.0.2 (optional install)

… Caleb effortlessly connected owner and car as he imagined the lot and continued to recover from the evening’s run.

The sage green minivan belonged to Belinda, the clerk in payroll. That one was easy to match up. The giveaway was the whimsical plastic soccer ball designed to look as though it shattered the Caravan’s rear window and lodged into the glass. Belinda’s office was littered with photos of her two boys at various soccer matches, “participant” trophies that sought asylum from the overflowing mantle at home, and a plethora of other soccer-themed knickknacks covered by a thick layer of dust. Most of the memorabilia in Belinda’s office suffered from neglect. It had been there so long that she failed to even see it anymore.

Continuing to review the lot, Caleb remembered the cobalt blue Lexus. That finely waxed and detailed beauty belonged to Marcus in HR. The forty-five-year-old head of personnel bought this prized possession after giving his last car to his daughter once she had earned her driver’s license. Marcus’ work environment was just as polished as that Lexus; his office was immaculate and slickly – but minimally – decorated. His desk displayed two photos, one of his wife and one of his daughter. Each image tastefully housed in its Pottery Barn frame. The walls were adorned with his diplomas, which had been professionally matted and framed, and a few motivational posters from Successories.

Leroy the Loss Prevention Specialist owned the dusty Ford F-150 adorned with a chrome-looking ichthus and a yellow, ribbon-shaped magnet that read, “Support Our Troops.” He was ex-military, as the tattooed emblem on his hairy forearm attested, and he did not like being called a security guard. “I’m not some old geezer with a nightstick napping in the corner!” he barked. “I didn’t risk my life to put up with these fucking young punks,” he groused to anyone who would listen.

Chloe, the corporate trainer, drove the new chartreuse VW Bug bearing a Mac bitten-apple logo and several politically aware – if not preachy – bumper stickers. She dressed sharply but always wore some funky accessory to set her apart from the rest of the office. She wore trendy, thick-rimmed, rectangular glasses and kept her pitch-black hair perfectly straight. Caleb believed that Chloe fancied herself a rebel working to change the system from the inside.

Growing bored with this mental match game, …