Recipe for Widely Palatable Modern Man:

  • 1 part coffee, store bought.
  • 5 hours of sleep
  • 3 hours of television (preferably sitcoms)
  • 1 mortgage
  • 50 hours of unfulfilling work
  • 1 hour of leisure
  • 1 nagging spouse
  • 3 angry bosses
  • 2 types of medication (for the heart or mind, a poorly crafted multivitamin, or others depending on your taste)

Take the ingredients, mix thoroughly until all parts are evenly distributed and no clumps remain.  Place into microwave safe container, set the timer to “ad infinitum” and cook.  The dish is ready when you hear a “pop” from inside the microwave.  Enjoy!